


Puzzle

by haurratxoria



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jackson becomes a Singer, M/M, Only for a small part, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Underage Drinking, teens to adults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 01:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9100954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haurratxoria/pseuds/haurratxoria
Summary: Where Mark likes puzzles and tries to isolate himself from others, but ends up falling in love with Jackson.orBecause love is like a puzzle.Not really sure how ratings work so I just put Teen and Up for foul language.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I tried. I put a lot of time into this and I don't know how I feel about it, but I worked really hard. I played with the ending a lot and changed it many times. I hope you like it.
> 
> Song Lyrics used:  
> English translation of Let's Not Fall in Love by Big Bang  
> Some lyrics modified from Apologize by Timbaland ft. OneRepublic to make it more appropriate for the story line  
> English translation of Love is Simple by David Tao (Got7 sang this before)
> 
> Hope all of you have a happy new year! #TeamGOT7

Mark had this hobby that made everyone look at him weirdly. It honestly wasn't that weird. To him. It seemed quite normal, but in an age of cellphones and social media, you could barely find a teenager who would rather sit down at his table and complete puzzles. He was going to high school abroad in Korea, and was supposed to be living with his aunt, but she never seemed to come home, so he had used the extra rooms in his apartment to store bookshelves of puzzles. Okay, maybe his hobby was getting out of hand, but fans of idol groups filled their rooms with their favorite group's merchandise, so it wasn't like he was too strange.

He had finally completed that 8,000 piece puzzle and now he was looking for an even harder one. He strolled through the aisles of the store, music loudly playing through his earphones. He took three steps forward and then stopped. Had he just seen what he thought he had seen? He walked backwards, and his eyes fell upon the same object. A 10,000 piece puzzle. He quickly grabbed it off the shelf, a thrilling feeling running through him, as he placed the puzzle in his basket full of snacks. Maybe this wasn't as thrilling as skydiving, but there was a certain charm to completing a puzzle.

He briskly walked to the line of the closest cashier, stepping in line behind someone he was sure he had seen before. He held the puzzle close to his chest and hummed along to the music playing in his ears. And then he started to impatiently tap his foot on the floor. This was taking a little too long. He looked up to see the boy in front of him scratching his head, with an anxious look on his face. Mark removed the earbud from his right ear.

“Sir, you need 800 more won.” The boy patted his pants pockets and checked his wallet again. He seemed to be freaking out. Mark sighed and handed 800 won to the cashier. The cashier seemed thankful enough that she didn't have to deal with the boy anymore. She offered him a thankful smile as she handed a shopping bag to the boy.

“Oh? Aren't you in my math and English classes? Mark, right?” Mark glanced over to acknowledged the boy as he payed for his mountain of food and puzzle. “Thank you so much.”  Mark nodded and took the bag from the cashier. As he walked, the boy continues to follow him.

“I'm Jackson. Jackson Wang.” Yeah, he could tell that much by the stupid snapback with Wang in all caps on the boy’s head.

“Thank you so much. I'll pay you back tomorrow.”  To be honest, Mark wasn't really listening to what Jackson was mumbling about. He had just been daydreaming about making himself ramyeon.

“Oh, I'm going this way. Bye Mark.” Mark glanced up.

“Oh, bye.” Mark barely glanced at Jackson as he walked away. There was another person he'd probably never talk to again. Not that he minded though. Silence made him perfectly happy. He unlocked the door to his apartment and then closed it behind him, throwing the shopping bag onto the couch and then boiling hot water to cook the ramyeon in. He poured the 10,000 piece puzzle onto the table and began to mechanically flip all the pieces color side up.

 

*******

 

Mark was sitting at his desk, scrolling through his phone, with earphones blasting music into his ear. He didn't notice that someone had sat down next to him until he was tapped on the shoulder. He looked up, shocked. People usually didn't talk to him except for when he bumped into them in the hallway and they made casual conversation for a minute. He glanced up to see Jackson Wang, casually shoving money into his face. Jackson leaned over and pulled one earphone out of his ear. Who had given him permission to do that?

“What?” Mark admit that he had snapped for a second. That definitely came out colder than he intended to. Jackson pretended to wince in pain.

“Ouch, Mark! So cold!” Mark was about to put the earphone back in his ear when Jackson grabbed his hand and pressed the money into it.

“Here. I owe you.”  Mark pressed his lips into a thin smile and then put the earphone back into his ear, turning away from Jackson and staring blankly at the math notes he had taken the previous day to look as if he was preparing for class.

 

*******

 

No one was so persistent in trying to talk to him when he clearly didn't want to. Jackson had approached him in between classes, when he was at his locker, and even threw paper airplane notes to Mark during English class. Mark had almost gotten in trouble, so when the English teacher had turned her back to the class, Mark openly flipped his middle finger at Jackson before holding the paper above his head and slowly ripping it in two. If Jackson was seriously so dense as to not get his hints before, he should definitely have understood what Mark wanted now.

So when lunchtime came, Mark happily strolled to the lunch room, enjoying the quiet and peace of being alone. He sat down at his lunch table alone in the corner of the cafeteria after offering smiles to the few people he occasionally talked to. He was finally back to his normal routine of eating, checking his phone, and listening to music.

And then his peace was shattered by the bang of a lunch tray slammed onto the table, and the person named Jackson Wang shoved his face into Mark's.

“Hi Mark.” Mark offered a grunt of acknowledgement before staring at his phone. A text from his mom gave him the chance to ignore Jackson.

Mom:

-宜恩，你好嗎? (Yi En, are you doing well?)

Mark hesitated for a second before typing back in English: “Yeah, I'm fine.”

“You speak English and Chinese? And you use Traditional Chinese! Are you from Hong Kong?”  Mark had a surprised look on his face as he turned around to see Jackson peering over his shoulder.

“Oh, I do, but I'm not from Hong Kong. My parents are from Taiwan, but I was born in America.” Mark was surprised when the English flowed out of his mouth. Now he would have to translate that.

“I'm from Hong Kong, but I learned English at school too.” Mark was sure his jaw hat hit the ground. Jackson was fluent in English?

“I'm pretty good at English, but one time in class I accidentally cursed in English during a presentation. I should have gotten extra points for knowing something that wasn't in the textbook, but the teacher made me stand in the back of the room for the rest of the class.” Mark laughed. What kind of idiot did that? And yet this idiot was fluent in Korean, Cantonese, Mandarin, and had been only using English for the past couple of minutes. He could feel himself relax. Mark hadn't realized how much he missed being able to talk to people with a language he was confident in speaking.

“Oh! This is the first time you smiled at me! But I don't know how I should feel, because you're laughing at how stupid I am.”  Mark realized that he _had_ smiled at Jackson and he felt his cheeks warm up a little. Jackson squealed. Mark couldn't resist the urge to slap him on the arm.

“Shut up.” Mark stood up to throw out his empty tray, and Jackson followed him out of the cafeteria, a few steps behind. Mark turned to Jackson.

“Jackson, where's your next class?”

 

*******

 

His morning routine had definitely changed. Now instead of waking up to a shrill alarm, he was woke up to the sound of Jackson pounding on his apartment door. Instead of having music play in his ear as he walked to school, his ears were filled with Jackson's nonstop talking. Now he had Jackson sitting next to him in class instead of an empty space. And Mark found that he didn't value silence as much anymore.

Mark was at his locker, loading his textbooks, which felt like boulders, back into his bag. In the corner of his eye, he saw Jackson jumping up and down. Mark laughed. Jackson looked kind of like a puppy.

“Mark! Oh my god, I just had the worst time in French class. The teacher was calling on us to make up a story relating to the prompt. And I was doing really well, but the teacher never called on me. And then we got to this prompt that had really weird words in it and I had no idea what it was about. Of course, she decided to call on me.” Jackson made this really exaggerated ‘Seriously?’ facial expression and Mark couldn't hold back a smile.

“And I literally had no idea what I said. It didn't even make sense and I screwed up so badly. I got like two proper sentences out and the rest was just a mix of random sounds smushed together.” Jackson pouted. Mark smiled.

“It's okay, it was only one time.” Jackson shrieked in embarrassment when he replayed the incident one more time in his head.

“Do you want to hang out after school? It'll take your mind off this horrible tragedy.”

“I want to! But my parents probably won't let me. Maybe Sunday? I'll be able to finish all my chores and homework by then and then maybe my parents will let me go out.”

“Okay.” Jackson's phone buzzed and Jackson winced.

“It's my parents. I have to run home.”

“Your parents are really strict.”

“I know… they can be suffocating, but they're still my parents. I have to go. Bye Mark.” Mark waved as Jackson ran off. Before Mark looked away, he saw Jackson turn back around.

“I'll text you!” Mark smiled as he turned away from the person who was waving his hand so hard, it might have fallen off.

 

*******

 

Mark laid on his couch, staring at the television, letting the words of the news announcer go through one ear and out of the other. The only thing he felt was sheer boredom. He shifted against the couch and then turned over, catching a glimpse of the puzzle that he hasn't touched in awhile. He makes his way to the desk his puzzle is on, after a mental struggle of whether he should move or not, and his fingers quickly sort out all the border pieces. Piece by piece the edges of the puzzle start to come together.

His phone vibrates in his hoodie pocket and he pulls it out, glancing at the notifications.

 

Jackson:

-I finished all my chores. You want to get lunch on Sunday?

 

His fingers flew across the keyboard: “What time?”

 

Jackson:

-Noon? Where should we meet?

 

Mark pauses for a minute and then typed back: “Noon, my house. I'll send you my address.” He quickly enters his address and apartment number and clicks send.

Mark turns back to the puzzle. The pieces seem to fit together much more quickly and soon he is finished with the border and begins to work inwards.

 

*******

 

Mark wakes up to the sound of nonstop banging from his door.

“Mark!!! Open up!!!”

“Oh crap.” Mark rolls out of his bed, managing not to trip on the blanket he has wrapped around himself. He stumbles to the door and opens it without thinking.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Your bed head is cute.”  Mark blinks rapidly, taking in who is at his doorstep. He can feels his ears turning red and he moves to slam the door shut.

Jackson fakes a shocked yet sad facial expression. “Did you just invite me over to kick me out?”

“Fine come in. I'll go take a shower.”

 

*******

 

When Mark finished his shower, he exited the bathroom to see Jackson poking at his puzzle.

“Mark, this thing is huge. How do you even have the patience to work on this?”  Mark took Jackson's hand and dragged him to his puzzle storage room. He swung open the door and laughed as Jackson's jaw hit the ground.

“I've finished all of these already.”

“This is either an extreme obsession or a kind of sickness.”  Mark turned and stared at Jackson with an insulted look on his face.

“Sorry.”

“No. It’s fine. I have to admit that this is a bit extreme.” Mark plops down on the couch and Jackson does the same.

“It's just that puzzles help me sort out my thoughts. And they make me feel relaxed, which is kind of weird because they usually make people feel confused.”

“I wish I had something like that. I have a lot of friends but I usually don't tell them everything I'm thinking. And so it usually bottled up and then one day I accidentally spit it out in front of the wrong person.”  Jackson squeezed Mark's hand tighter and Mark realized that they had never let go of each other. He isn't as uncomfortable with the idea as he thought he would have been.

“If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me.”

 

*******

 

“Markiepooh!” Mark felt Jackson jump on top of him.

“Yah! Get off of me.” Jackson laughed and hopped off Mark.

“What do you want to do on Sunday?”

“Watch a horror movie?” Mark couldn't resist laughing at the look on Jackson's face. From his expression, it looked like the killer in a horror movie was standing in front of Jackson right now, with a knife in hand.

“Mark! We already did that last week.”

“I know and I also remember that you were screaming and clinging to me like a koala which is part of the reason why I want to do it again.” Jackson pouted.

“Why don't we go shopping for snapbacks and have an ice cream break?”

“We did that the week before and the week before that. Your wallet is already empty, you can't possibly empty it more.”

Jackson was about to protest, but he suddenly straightened up and cleared his throat.

“Hey Youngji.” One of the girls in a group mostly made of upperclassmen turned around.

“Oh, hey Jackson.”  The girl smiled and Mark could swear he saw Jackson blushing. “There's this party my friends are holding on Saturday night. Do you want to come?”

“I'm not sure if I can make it.”

“Here, I'll text you the address. If you have time, stop by. Your friend can come too.” The ping of a received text sounded from Jackson's phone and Youngji waved to them. “Well, hope to see you on Saturday.”

When she had left, Mark turned to Jackson.

“So are you going to the party?”

“My parents probably won't let me, but I want to go. You?”

“I don't really like hanging out with people I don't know.”

“Why are you staring at me?”

“Your face is still red.” Jackson immediately brought his hands up to his face. “Do you like her?”

“I don't know. Maybe. She's really pretty and nice. I mean you're pretty and nice to, but it's different.”

“I'm male. Don't call me pretty.”

“Sorry, but you are.”

“Are you actually not going to the party, Jackson?” Jackson wrapped his arm around Mark's.

“Probably not. But it's okay, I'll just hang out with you on Sunday. I like you too.”

 

*******

 

Saturday night. The smell of ramyeon filled his house and Mark was preparing to feast until he heard someone banging on his door.

He picked himself off the couch and walked slowly to the door and opened it.

“Hey, Jackson.” Jackson looked up and glared. “What's wrong? Come in.” Jackson grumbled something that Mark guessed was supposed to sound like a thank you. He sat on the couch for a few minutes without saying anything. Mark went ahead and started eating, gesturing that Jackson could take some if he wanted, but continued to ignore Jackson when Jackson shook his head.

“You know how you said that I could come talk to you?” Mark looked up and nodded. “It's my parents. I showed them the 88 I got on the physics test and they flipped at me.”

“An 88 is good though.”

“Not for them. They told me I didn't try hard enough when I practically spent the whole week studying. I told them I did my best and they wouldn't believe me. They told me I should actually try. I am trying! They actually said that If I actually gave a shit I could make them proud and I wouldn't be a shitty son. So I went to my room and then snuck out.”  Jackson took a deep breath to calm himself. Mark didn't say anything because he knew Jackson had more to say.

“You would think since they adopted me they would try to show that they loved me even though I'm not their real kid, but they act like they wished they had never adopted me.” Mark hadn't heard this before. He was surprised, but tried not to show it. Now was not the time.

“Mark, you know what? I'm already out of the house. Let's go to that party.”

“But my ramyeon-,” Mark sighed when he saw the look on Jackson's face.

“Fine.”

 

*******

 

It was one of those parties. The kind where somehow the host’s parents didn't care that minors were being given alcohol and drugs while they were there or the fact that their kids were wasting so much money in the process. The house even had those flashing lights and a DJ.

Mark had encouraged Jackson to go find Youngji to talk to, in hopes that Jackson would forget about what his parents had told them. He walked along the sides of the room, trying to blend in and not get involved in all the grinding that was going on.

After fifteen minutes had passed, Mark decided to escape into hallway. He quickly ran past the rooms that questionable sounds were escaping from. He finally slipped into the one seemingly empty room.

He was shocked when he turned around and saw Jackson there.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jackson was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall with three full cups of alcohol. He smiled weakly at Mark.

“Youngji was already making out with some other random guy.” Jackson took a sip from one of the cups. “Today is such a crappy day.”

“You're not drinking three cups of alcohol by yourself, are you?” Mark picked up one of the cups and sniffed the alcohol.

“Not unless you want some.”

“I don't really.”

“Fine. I'll drink it all by myself.” Mark looked at Jackson before taking a swig from the cup. It burned and Mark coughed. The low throbbing of music slipped through the cracks under the door.

“You know there are plenty of good-looking nice people that you could hook up with.”

“Not many that I want to hook up with though.” Mark turned to look at Jackson to see that Jackson was looking back at him.

“There has to be someone that you would be fine with.”

Jackson leaned over and pressed his lips against Mark's. And Mark found himself giving in to Jackson and kissing him back. It was a rough kiss, one that tasted of alcohol and desperation. A hungry, passionate kiss, one that neither of them tried to stop. Mark could feel Jackson's arms wrapping around him and pulling him closer and Mark grabbed Jackson's shirt, yanking it towards him. Intoxication, desperation, and lust. What a nasty combination.

 

*******

 

Mark woke up the next morning. He got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, picking up his toothbrush. He realized that he had been too tired last night to change his clothes. What had he done last night?

He actually dropped his toothbrush in the toilet when he remembered what had happened. That was gross. The toothbrush, not the kiss. When he thought about the kiss, he just felt confused. He had to talk to Jackson. He ran back to his room to get his phone, abandoning his toothbrush in the toilet. He decided to call Jackson. This was too insane of a matter to discuss over text.

The phone rang for a couple of times before Jackson picked up.

“Mom! Hold on I got a phone call. What's up, Mark?” Mark had completely forgotten about the fight Jackson had got into with his parents.

“How's the situation with your mom and dad?”

“No one brought it up and they didn't realize I snuck out, so it's all good. Sorry I freaked out on you yesterday. It was just a bad day.”

“Oh, okay,” Mark didn't say anything until he remembered he had called for another reason. “About yesterday…”

“What about yesterday?” How could he seem to care so little about what had happened yesterday?

“Jackson. You and I…”

“Oh, yeah. That. You know what? Let's not think about that too much. We both weren't thinking straight. It's fine.”

“Oh.”

“I have to go. My parents are calling me. See you in school.” Jackson hung up and Mark dumbfoundedly stared at his phone before rolling onto his bed and staring into the ceiling.

Jackson had said they weren't thinking straight. Well they had drank a little, but they hadn't even had a full cup. Mark hadn't had a hangover when he woke up this morning and as far as he could tell, Jackson had sounded perfectly normal. There was no doubt that they had hooked up. It wasn't as simple as drunken kisses between people who were completely wasted. It would have been easier to think about it that way.

Mark replayed the scenes of the night before over and over again in his head, grabbing his pillow and hugging it close to his body. It took him some time to realize he hadn't been repulsed by the prospect of hooking up with a guy. He hadn't been repulsed by the fact that he had hooked up with Jackson Wang.

 

*******

 

For the first time since they had become friends, Mark had tried to run away when he saw Jackson, although it didn't work out so well for him. Jackson must have been some part homing pigeon, because everywhere Mark went, he could see Jackson in the distance heading towards him.

“Mark!” Jackson jumped in front of him with a bright smile on his face. Mark could practically see a puppy tail wagging behind him. Jackson was kind of cute like that. Why did he just think that?

“Mark~ Are you avoiding me?” Jackson latched onto Mark's arm. For some reason, Mark felt kind of nervous.

“No, I've just been really busy.”

“That's good then. I thought you were still overthinking what happened at the party. Sorry about that. I promise that was only because I drank a little.” For some reason, that statement only made Mark feel worse and he felt some sort of squeezing feeling in his chest. It was weird. He made his best effort to smile back at Jackson. Jackson stared at him and then grabbed his hands.

“You know, if there's anything bothering you, you could always talk to me.” And then Jackson gave him the most soft, comforting, angelic smile and Mark internally cursed.

He was in love with Jackson Wang.

 

*******

 

Mark sat in the park, slouching down so that he could get a good view of the sky. He had made himself a playlist that purely consisted of _Let's Not Fall in Love_ by Big Bang on repeat.

 _Let’s not fall in love, we don’t know each other very well yet_  
_Actually, I’m a little scared,_  
I’m sorry

So the first part was not true. They knew each other very well. And only he was falling in love. But he was scared. He had never thought that he might have been gay before. He didn't want to tell anyone or to be judged by them. And he was sorry for Jackson, because whether Jackson had wanted it or not, Mark was probably going to end up getting him involved in an emotional train wreck.

 _Let’s not make promises, you never know when tomorrow comes_  
_But I really mean it when I say_  
I like you

He saw someone look down at him from above, and Mark could barely tell who it was because he stood against the sunlight, but he knew it had to be Jackson. He could make out Jackson's smile as Jackson reached down and pulled the earphone out of Mark's left ear and put it in his.

 _Don’t smile at me_  
_If I get attached to you, I’ll get sad_  
I’m afraid that pretty smile will turn into tears

Jackson laughed.

“I like the song, but the way you are slouching down and staring into the sky while listening to it makes it sound like you are in some sort of forbidden love.” Mark sort of laughed. In some ways, that wasn't too far off the mark considering how against gay relationships most people in South Korea were.

“Are we going?”

“Of course.” Jackson grabbed Mark's hands and intertwined it with his as they walked and Mark could feel his face flush. Jackson really should stop doing that. It wasn't good for Mark's heart.

 

*******

 

They had ended up in a coffee shop and Jackson had ordered two Iced Americanos. Mark stared out the window observing the people walking by. He saw a couple, man and woman, walk by, holding hands and laughing together. he started chewing on his straw.

“Mark.” Mark hummed in reply.

“Have you started the English essay yet?” Mark shook his head. To be honest, he hadn't done much work recently. He had been working on his puzzle again, and for some odd reason, he hadn't found the pieces to build the puzzle inward, instead magically finding a clump of center puzzle pieces that magically fit together, but couldn't fit into the other piece he had constructed.

“Working on my puzzle. You?”

“Of course. You know that I wouldn't do it if I had the choice, but with my parents…” Jackson sighed and Mark awkwardly patted him on the back. “Didn't you say you work on puzzles to help you sort out your thoughts or something?” Mark shrugged.

“Mark, if something is bothering you, just talk to me about it, okay?” Mark nodded, even though Jackson was one of the last people Mark would want to talk to about this.

“Just know that I love you, Mark, okay?” Mark almost knocked over his drink. It wasn't fair when Jackson said those words with the most caring look in his eyes and yet no romantic feelings behind it.

“Yeah, I know.”

 

*******

 

Mark was sitting in Jackson's bedroom. On top of Jackson's bed. Of course this was only because Jackson's parents had said he could for the first time, before leaving the house for a prior engagement. This was the first time he had allowed himself to be in a private location with Jackson since _that_ night.

Of course, Jackson couldn't seem to care less about that.

“What are you doing?”

“Reading the news. Well, not the actual news, but celebrity news. A whole bunch of groups are preparing new comebacks.” Mark sighed.

“You have no life.”

“Like you are one to talk, you've been just sighing, rolling around on my bed, and staring at me.” Mark’s cheeks were flushed. He had been caught.

Jackson looked up and then moved from his desk to a spot on the bed right besides Mark. He reached over and started tickling Mark.

“Yah! Stop it!” Mark started laughing so hard that he was tearing up. He squirmed and finally when it was starting to get hard to breathe, Jackson rolled over and pulled out his phone, resting his head on Mark's chest. Mark stared at Jackson, playing with Jackson's hair. He was so lucky that the person he had let into his life could make him smile, laugh, and make him feel like he was flying.

“Your heart is pounding. Are you really that sensitive?” Mark was thankful that Jackson was dense.

“No, that's because of something else.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay. I love you, bro. Always and forever.” What a way to be friend zoned. Mark's hand stopped playing with Jackson's hair. Jackson sat up and looked at Mark, trying to judge his facial expression, and Mark did the same. “Are you feeling okay? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, it's something you shouldn't have to worry about.”

“Mark, please tell me.” Yeah, like that was going to happen. Mark wouldn't want to sacrifice their friendship. He opened his mouth to say no.

“I'm in love with you.” Mark couldn't believe what had come out of his mouth, but there was no taking it back now.

Jackson immediately averted his eyes from Mark's and Mark could feel his heart sinking.

“Jackson?” He hated that that had come out in a pleading tone, but the way Jackson sat there silently and wouldn't look at him sent chills down his spine.

“My parents said that gay people are messed up and need mental help.”

“Excuse me?” Mark tried to calm himself. “And so why are you telling me this? Do you agree with them?” Jackson wouldn't look at him.

“I'm leaving.” Mark wanted to throw up. He swallowed down the bitter taste in his mouth. “Thanks.” He walked himself to the front door, grabbing his coat and shoving his feet into his shoes.

He stumbled back home, not fully wanting to process what had happened, the scene replaying over and over in his head like a broken record. He didn't pay attention to the street lights, vaguely hearing cars honk and swerve around him, drivers cursing. _Gay people are messed up. They need mental help._

Somehow he ended up safely in his apartment. It might not have been too bad if he hadn't. He needed someone to cling to. Something. His eyes wandered to the puzzle and he walked to it. He picked up a puzzle piece, trying to focus on it. _Messed up._ He shook his head and tried to focus on it again. And this time, his mind focused on Jackson averting his eyes, refusing to look at Mark.

“Fuck it.” Mark dropped the puzzle piece on the ground. “Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it.” His hand reached out and he shoved 9,999 puzzle pieces to the ground, watching as they hit the carpet. He kicked the table and then collapsed on his bed.

“Fuck this shit.” For the first time since he said goodbye to his family at the airport in L.A., he let himself scream and cry.

 

*******

 

He found himself waking up past noon for some amount of days in a row. Yes, he had skipped school since the time he had walked out of Jackson's house and no, he had no qualms about it. He groggily picked up his phone, ordering takeout. Of course, he felt beaten up, but he was slowly convincing himself that Jackson Wang was trash.

Mark grabbed the money to pay the delivery guy when he heard the doorbell ring. He swung the door open. Jackson Wang. He moved to slam the door shut, but Jackson caught the door and pushed it open, stepping into his house. He saw Jackson take in the messy state of his house. Takeout containers stacked on top of one another, ground littered with tissues.

And then Jackson saw the puzzle pieces that had been knocked onto the ground and he scurried over to them, grabbing handfuls and trying to pick them up.

“Your puzzle is all destroyed! I'll help you fix it.” Mark walked over and slapped the pieces out of Jackson's hands.

“Leave.” He could feel his body shaking with anger.

“Look, Mark. I'm really sorry I said that to you-”

“Sorry? You think _sorry_ cuts it? You kissed me, told me I could confide in you about everything, said you would always love me no matter what and then told me that I was messed up and needed mental help. You invalidated all my feelings and made me feel worthless. And now you think you can just barge in here and say sorry? Get out.”

“Mark-” Mark could see that Jackson eyes were glossed over with tears, but he couldn’t take any of this anymore.

“Get the fuck out!” Mark yanked on Jackson's arm before pushing him out and slamming the door in his face.

“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!” Mark hoped he was screaming loud enough for Jackson to hear him. And then he broke down because no matter how much he wished that was true, he knew that it wasn't.

 

*******

 

Mark decided that he liked life better when he shut out the rest of the world. He was okay if he pretended everyone else wasn’t there. He didn’t have to worry about what they would think of him if they knew that he was gay. He didn’t have to worry about been told that he was sick or about having his heart crushed by people he trusted. A certain person he had trusted. That person who had been so persistent in gaining his trust. It was funny how that person wasn’t persistent in trying to fix the problem, because he knew he had fucked up.

It wasn’t like that person mattered anymore anyway.

The bell rang and students leaped out of their chairs, grabbing their stuff and racing out the door. Mark didn't blame them. It was the last day of junior year. Mark was ready to leave this toxic place. He didn't look back at the classroom in nostalgic manner, didn't even turn around once as he headed straight down the stairs and directly towards the exit.

The school was emptied out already as students had stampeded out the door like their lives had depended on it. He stared down at the ground walking briskly so that he wouldn't be late.

“Mark.” He quickened his walking pace.

“Mark. Let's talk. Please.” A hand grabbed his arm and Mark turned around, flinging the hand off.

“What do you want, Jackson Wang?”

“I'm really sorry about what I told you. I was wrong. No matter what my parents said I know that you are an amazing person. You're still the best friend I've ever had.”

“That's nice to know.” Mark began to walk away.

“Wait, can we be friends again? Maybe hang out over summer vacation? I really don't want to leave us like this.”

Mark almost laughed. Be friends. Instead he shook his head. “We wouldn't be able to hang out anyway.” He continued to walk on, hesitating, before turning around, just one last time. He took in the sight of Jackson, still standing still, frozen where Mark had left him.

“Goodbye, Jackson Wang.”

His steps lightened as he walks home. He was free. He tossed the keys up in the air gently catching them and throwing back up again. He wouldn't need these anytime soon.

He didn't stare at the apartment for long either. He placed the keys on the table, with a note thanking his aunt for letting him stay there. He grabbed his luggage, which was surprisingly light considering he had lived there for two years. He had already given the many boxes of puzzles up for donation, leaving the 10,000 piece puzzle on his desk to throw out. Now, when he stared at the puzzle, he couldn't bring himself to trash it. He shoved it in his bag and rolled his luggage out the door, closing the door for the last time. He dragged the suitcase down the staircase, finally making it to the lobby and then flagged down a taxi. He threw his stuff into the car and then got in, shutting the door.

“Where to?”

“Incheon International Airport.”

The car began to move. Mark picked up his phone and dialed his parents’ number.

“Mark!”

“Oh! It's Mark!”

“Hey Dad. Hey Mom. I'm heading to the airport now.”

“Oh, okay. Have a safe trip. We’ll come pick you up when you land in L.A.”

“I'll call when I land.” He began to lower the phone from his ear to hang up.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“We're sorry that we asked you to come back.”

“It's okay.” When Mark thought about it, he realized he would be happier back in L.A. anyway.

 

*** Years * Later ***

 

Mark stumbled into his work place.

“Fred! When's the meeting happening?”

“In one hour, it says so in the email I sent out! And why don't you address me by my last name? I'm your freaking boss.”

“Maybe it's because you always go drinking with us after work and we have to clean up after your drunk ass self.” Mark cleared his throat. His coworkers and boss turned to look at him before straightening themselves up.

“Oh, Mr. Tuan. You have an interview right now that you will have to write about for next week. Here's the file with questions. I'll bring you to the room.” Mark grabbed the file and followed his coworker down the hall until he stood in front of a large room with a fair amount of security.

“He's in there.”

“Thank you.” Mark was about to open the door.

“Um… Mr. Tuan, you know that we all go drinking on Friday nights right? Maybe you could join us. It would help us all get to know you better.” Mark faked a smile.

“I'm sorry. I don't drink.” He pushed the door open before his coworker could utter a single word in protest.

“I'm sorry to keep you waiting. We'll get started right away-” He froze.

“Mark.” Mark's breath catches in his throats as the person stares back at him with eyes full of disbelief.

“Jackson Wang.”

Mark forced himself to sit down in front of Jackson, snapping open the file and reading each word off the page.

What is going on? That was the only comprehensible statement running through Mark's mind. He was glad that he only has to read the questions mindlessly off the file and record the answers. Maybe he would ask to be switched to another project so he wouldn't have to listen to the recording.

He found himself reading the last word off the file, not fully listening to what Jackson said in response. He snapped out of it after a long empty silence and stood up quickly, grabbing the recorder.

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Wang. It was a pleasure interviewing you. I hope you will allow us to interview you again in the future. Now if you'll excuse me.” A hand grabs onto his wrist. It had been a while since anyone had done that to him.

“Hey, um, Mark. What if we went out for Iced Americanos right now? For old times sake?” Why would he want to go hang out with Jackson?

“Fine.” Apparently, Mark still hated himself. He blamed it on a nostalgic desperation in Jackson's voice.

Mark was excused from work so that his company could maintain a good relationship with Jackson. Apparently Jackson was quite the hotshot. After much screaming from everyone sitting at the cafe and the intense fight of Jackson's security to push the people at least ten feet away from them, they had successfully ordered and received their Iced Americanos.

Mark heard Jackson nervously clear his throat. “How's life? You're a reporter now?”

Mark nodded. “Something like that. What about you?”

“You literally just did a whole interview on me!”

Mark shrugged. “It's not like I was actually processing the things either of us were saying.” Jackson started to laugh. His laugh was high pitched and melodic. That was one thing that had never changed.

“In senior year, I got scouted by a company to become a singer. I've been in Korea since then, but I just moved to L.A. to create and promote English songs.” There was a silence between them, one that was full of unanswered questions.

“Where did you go?”

“Moved back to L.A. immediately after junior year because my dad got in a small accident and my parents needed help.”

Mark took a sip of his Iced Americano. It was bittersweet.

“In a relationship?”

“Nope. I don't really like getting close to people, because the first time didn't go so well. You?”

“Nope. Not planning on starting one either.” Silence.

“I'm sorry, Mark. You were the best friend I'd ever had.”

“You were one of the only friends I'd ever had.”

“I'm really sorry about what I said. I should've loved you for who you really are.”

“Let's just forget about that.” He slurped the rest of his coffee and stood up.

“I'm leaving. See you around.”

“Wait, Mark. Could we start over again?” Getting to know people was a hassle, but he couldn't help but remember. He remembered the smiles and laughter they had shared. He remembered how happy he had been.

“Sure.”

“You still have the same number?” Mark nodded.

“You?”

“Yeah. Remember to unblock it.” Mark laughed sheepishly as he left.

 

*******

 

When Mark got home that night, he googled Jackson’s name immediately. Who knew that he knew a famous person? The number of views Jackson’s songs had were insane. He clicked on Jackson’s debut song. It had come out three years after Mark had left Korea. He let the song echo through his room.

 

_You’re holding on my rope_

_Got you ten feet off the ground_

_And you’re hearing what I say, but you just don't make a sound_

_I tell you that I need you_

_Then I go and cut you down, but wait_

_I tell you that I’m sorry_

_Didn't think you'd turn around, and say_

 

_That it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

_You said it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

 

A sense of nostalgia ran through him.  He remembered the box of stuff he had brought home from Korea and buried deep into the closet. He went to the closet, reaching in deep and waving his hands in the dark, until his fingers touched the box. He pulled the box out, placing it down on the ground and blowing the dust off the top.

Mark lifted the cover. He lifted his school notes out of the box and put them aside, briefly smiling to himself at the sight of his Korean penmanship. He pulled out the pictures of him and Jackson, the exact same ones he had wanted to burn a little while ago, and ran his fingers across the glossy film. The last thing that had caught his eye was the 10000 piece puzzle. He hadn't touched a puzzle in years. He picked it up and put it on his table. Maybe he would give it another go.

 

*******

 

Mark tapped his foot on the ground as he stood in the middle of L.A. Where was the idiot who had requested for him to waste his day off from work hanging out together?

“Psst… Mark.” Mark looked up and glanced over to see Jackson in a cap, face mask, and sunglasses.

“What are you wearing?”

“It’s called a disguise! I’m famous now.”

“You call that a disguise? First of all, you look highly suspicious. Second, your cap kind of says Wang in capital letters.”

“Oops.” Mark shook his head in disbelief as Jackson took off his ‘disguise’. “Let’s go.”

“This is almost the only time we have not hung out on a Sunday. Guess you finished all your chores early?”

“Are you mocking me? I’m an adult now. Of course I don’t need to listen to my parents anymore. Plus, they kind of stopped talking to me too much once I stopped studying and started practicing to become a singer.”

“Well, it’s nice to know that you can form your own opinions now.” Mark laughed.  “Sorry, I have a cruel sense of humor.”

“I’m still really sorry about that. I’ll do anything you want to make up for that.”

 

*******

 

“When I said anything, I wasn’t thinking about skydiving!” Jackson whined and tugged on the bottom of Mark’s shirt as if to beg him to rethink his decision.

“Well, that’s something that hasn’t changed: you being a scaredy-cat. You said anything.”

“Markiepooh has run wild.” Jackson complained as he let his body go limp, still holding onto Mark’s shirt, leading him to be dragged to their destination.

The first thing they were made to do was sign a consent form. It said something about them not being responsible for your death. Mark signed with no hesitation. What’s the chance he would die? He heard a shrill scream.

“Mark, they want me to sign off my life! My life!”

“Do it.”

“You’re so mean.”

“It’s called a bonding experience. You said you would do anything that I wanted~”  Jackson whimpered as he signed away his life, hand reluctantly moving across the paper. They were then dragged away and dressed in the proper apparel while being lectured on the correct things to do on the way down to make sure they didn’t kill themselves. Mark ran on the plane, dragging Jackson along with him. He stared in fascination as those rose up into the sky.

“Jackson! Look how high we are!” Mark looked over to see Jackson nervously staring out the window, hands slightly shaking. “Jackson? Are you okay?”

“I’m really scared. Really, really scared.” Mark sighed.

“I’m sorry I dragged you here. You don’t have to jump. We’ll forget the whole thing anyway. We’ve both changed. It’s fine now.” Jackson shook his head.

“I promised you I would do what you wanted. Can you promise me one thing?”

“What?”

“Go down first. I’ll feel better if I know you’ll be there.”

Mark and his instructor stood up and headed to the door. He turned back to Jackson and smiled.

“See you soon.”  And then he jumped.

It was the most exhilarating thing that Mark had experienced. The wind blew in his face and he extended his arms and legs so that it was like he was flying. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Everything looked so small when he was in the sky and felt like he was on top of the world.

He landed on the ground with a scream of excitement and detached himself from his instructor, thanking him. Mark turned back and stared into the sky when he heard high shrilled screaming.  He soon saw a small dot, that seemed to get larger with every second. He waved his arms.

“Jackson! Jackson! I’m here.” He laughed as Jackson landed on the ground, sitting down. Jackson collapsed and didn’t get up, leaving the instructor to detach himself from Jackson and lay Jackson back on the ground before walking away.

“Jackson, what are you doing?” Mark laughed when Jackson continued to stare at the sky, smile glued onto his face. Mark sat down next to Jackson.

“Mark, that was amazing! I was flying and oh my god, it was so beautiful. I don’t regret a single thing.” Mark smiled. “Lie down with me.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.” Mark laid down next to Jackson. He watched as Jackson pointed to the sky. “We were up there,” Jackson murmured in disbelief.

“Mark. Thanks for making me do that.” They laid there in silence and happiness.

“You know, Mark. You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.” Mark snapped his head to look in Jackson’s direction in shock. What had Jackson just said? Jackson turned his head to look at Mark and smiled. Mark could imagine his cheeks flushing.

He remembered what it felt like to be in love.

Fuck.

 

*******

 

He was familiar with the avoiding Jackson game by now. Every time Jackson texted him, he would respond that he was busy with an interview. It was a lame excuse to use every single time, but Mark couldn’t come up with a better one.

He sat in his office, leaning his head against the table in defeat, silently cursing himself for allowing the same exact thing to happen again.

“Excuse me, is Mark here?” He knew that voice too well. Mark slid down in his seat and then crawled under the table. Why did he do that?

“Um, Mr. Tuan just crawled under his desk.” Well, thanks Martha, or whatever her name was. Mark awkwardly crawled out from under his desk.

“Hey, Jackson… I was just picking up something I dropped.”

“Sure… are you free now?”

“Nope, still working on an upcoming interview that I have.” Jackson turned to the Martha lady that had ratted him out earlier.

“Does Mark have anything to work on?”

“Nope, he turned in his last assignment a couple minutes ago.” Mark inwardly cursed as Jackson walked up to him and grabbed his hand.

“Come on, we’re going out.”

“But it’s raining outside!” Jackson pulled out an umbrella.

“We’ll just have to share.” Jackson pulled Mark closer, intertwining their hands, and dragged them out into the rain.

“Where are we going?” Jackson shrugged. “Are you serious? How do you not know? You’re the one who dragged me out here!”

“I just missed you. You were ignoring me.” Mark couldn’t deny that.

“Fine, where do you want to go?”

“Let’s shop for snapbacks and then go for an ice cream break? We haven’t done that in ages.”

“Sure. Let’s get ice cream first.”

 

*******

 

Mark counted the minutes as they flew by in his office. It was almost noon. He watched as the second hand moved closer to the 12. Three. Two. One.

“Mark!” Bingo.

Recently, Jackson had been running like clockwork. He would always come to the office at Mark’s lunch break and barge in, screaming Mark’s name before dragging him out the door, hand in hand.

And just as Mark had known he would, Jackson ran across the room and pulled Mark out of the office. No matter how many times it happened, it still got him when Jackson intertwined their hands together.

“What do you want for lunch today Mark?”

“Um… maybe the Italian place? I’m craving pasta and soup.”

“You always want soup. Oh well, I’m good as long as there’s cheese.” Mark laughed at Jackson’s obsession.

“Oh, Mark! I bought these bracelets yesterday.” He handed Mark a box. Mark opened it and his jaw hit the floor.

“Jackson, how expensive is this?”

“Not telling~ But wear it okay? I bought it as a pair for us to wear, so don’t waste my money.”

“Jackson, recently you’ve been overdoing it. You come over everyday and you just bought these bracelets. Who knows how much these cost? I know I’m your friend, but this is too much.” There was a pause before Jackson responded.

“Well, I’m on break before my next album, so I can come hang out whenever I want. And I bought the bracelets for us because I wanted to.” Mark stopped Jackson and looked into his eyes.

“Did I say something to make you upset?”

“No.”

“Okay then.” Mark couldn’t shake the feeling that Jackson was quieter for the rest of the day.

 

*******

 

Mark began worrying when Jackson wasn’t in his office at noon. He drummed his fingers on his desk. At three minutes past noon, he texted Jackson asking where he was. A minute later, his phone buzzed.

 

Jackson:

-I thought you didn’t want me to come over so often. I’m busy.

 

Mark put his phone down and stared at his computer. He hoped that no one had noticed that he missed Jackson. He had planned to ask Jackson if he wanted to try the new authentic Chinese place that had opened down the street. He fiddled with the new bracelet on his wrist and sighed. He would have to go eat by himself today.

 

*******

 

Mark and Jackson hadn’t talked since that text a couple of days ago. To say Mark was disappointed was an understatement. He kept trying to think about how he could approach Jackson.

He rolled off his couch and opened the door to be pulled outside.

“What- what the hell? Jackson?!”

“We’re going somewhere right now.” Mark could feel his heart jump as Jackson tightened his grasp on Mark’s hand.

“Wait, Jackson! At least let me get my shoes.”

“There’s no need for that. We’re going in my car anyway. I’ll give you a piggy back ride.”

“What?!” Before Mark could complain, he was on Jackson’s back. Jackson suddenly started running at full speed. Mark let out a shriek of surprise and then started laughing, Jackson’s laugh and his ringing throughout the building.

They were breathless, yet smiling when they reached Jackson’s car.

“Where are we going?”

“A park.”

“Why?” Jackson only grinned.

“You’ll see.”

It took them five minutes to drive to the park. Jackson pulled to a stop and got out, before walking over to the side of the car Mark was on.

“Another piggy back ride.”

“We’re in public though!”

“Okay, the ground is really dirty, so I personally think this is the best option. Plus, it’s kind of dark out, so people won’t be able to get a good look at your face anyway.

“Fine.”

“Could you grab the guitar in the back seat?” Mark leaned back and picked up the guitar, glancing it over before climbing onto Jackson’s back.

“You play the guitar now?"

“Yeah, I’m pretty good. I’ll show you.” Mark climbed off Jackson at the nearest park bench and Jackson sat down to him, grabbing the guitar.

“You know how you asked why I got those bracelets? And why I always came over for lunch everyday?” Mark nodded. “I wanted to show you a sneak peek of a song from my new album.” Jackson positioned his fingers on the strings and cleared his throat.

 

_I've forgotten how it started_

_Maybe it was when I had some feelings for you_

_And I suddenly discovered within myself_

_That falling deeply in love with you, really was very simple_

 

_Being completely lost in love already doesn't matter anymore_

_Because whether right or wrong, it's not my choice to make_

_Not regretting following love day and night_

_That crazy person is me...Oh~_

 

_I love you_

_I'm incapable of not loving you baby_

_Say you love me too_

 

_I love you_

_I'm not willing baby, to ever lose you_

 

“How was it?”

“Jackson, that was amazing.”

“I wrote it for you.” Mark’s breath got caught in his chest. He could hear his heart pounding.

“What?”

“This… how do I say this… I love you. Romantically. I really love your smile, your laugh, the sound of your voice, how your eyes shine, how caring you are even if you don't show it to others… each star in the sky is one reason why I love you. What I'm trying to say is that I know I've hurt you a lot and I'm really sorry, but now I know what love is and that it can't be defined by gender and I know that I love you. If you could give me a chance, I promise I'll cherish you and-”

Mark could feel his ears turn red and the smile that refused to leave his face when he registered what Jackson said to him. “Okay.” He watched as Jackson’s face turned red and Jackson took in a deep breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was just so nervous that I forgot to breathe.” They stared at each other for a while, and Mark could feel himself leaning in. Jackson’s face seemed to be getting closer and closer to his.

It was the second kiss. The second time their lips had touched. It was sweet, passionate, and everything that Mark had wanted.

They pulled apart, fingers intertwined.

“I love you, Mark.”

“I love you, too.”

They sat on the park bench, not minding that it was chilly, staring at the sky.

“Hey Jackson?”

“Yeah?”

“You know how you said each star in the sky is one reason why you love me?” Jackson blushed.

“Yeah?”

“Did you know that about 275 million stars die every day?”

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

 

*******

 

The ride back to Mark’s apartment was full of happiness and Mark couldn’t help but replay the scene in his head. The car stopped in front of the building Mark lived in and due to Mark’s lack of shoes, which was all Jackson’s fault, it led to a third piggy back ride up to Mark’s apartment.

“Jackson, did you eat dinner yet?” Jackson shook his head. “You should come in and eat something before you go.”

“Could I? Thanks.” They stepped inside Mark’s apartment and Mark felt as if his stomach was doing martial arts tricking.

“Mark, isn’t that the same puzzle you were trying to do before? So many years have passed and you haven’t completed it!”

“Well, I only started trying to complete it again recently and I’m almost done.”

“Let’s finish it today. Come on, I’ll help.”

They both sat down at the table and somehow Mark managed to pull his focus away from Jackson. The time seemed to fly by and the hole left to be filled shrunk slowly. Mark glanced up from the puzzle to check why Jackson had stopped helping him. Jackson seemed to be staring at him.

“Jackson… Jackson… stop staring at me.” He wove his hands in Jackson’s face and Jackson blinked.

“Oh, sorry. I just couldn’t believe how lucky I am to have you.”

“You can stare at me later, focus now.”

“Yes, sir.” Jackson turned back to the puzzle immediately and Mark smiled to himself as he went back to work. There were a hundred pieces left… twenty-five… five…

One.

“Mark, here, the last piece.” Mark took the piece that Jackson handed to him and took a deep breath before placing it into its rightful spot.

“It’s complete! I’m so proud of you! I love you, Mark.” Jackson smiled at Mark and kissed him on the cheek.

“I love you too, Jackson.”

His puzzle was complete.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos and a comment because those motivate me :) If you want other fanfics to read you can check out the others I have wrote ;)
> 
> If you have twitter, remember to vote for Got7 for best fandom on Soompi Awards with #TeamGot7


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